Sara Fed has intelligence and so can you.

To a new site. Because livejournal sucks like your mom.

http://sarafed.wordpress.com

Because I am an infallible deity. God must've really wanted to see someone kick some ass around here. Love you Jesus & God<3 (I believe in both because I'm not a crazy Jew)

So anyways, as we all know, the economy sucks ass. What with the rising gas prices, rising food prices, and rising communism in our latest presidential race! Wait that's not the economy...

Gas prices are the biggest problem of todays society. In a recent study performed by me, I discovered some shocking facts about this gasoline we are using to fill our cars & the prices we pay to do so:

1. The lowest gas price in Massachusetts is $3.78, and sadly it's Stop & Shop generic brand gasoline, which means it's made out of the grocery business' finest moldy fruits and veggies, dented can goods (they need a use for those because they realized nobody's going to buy that), and some elderly employees that had no other good use (like the dented cans!)
2. The top 5 lowest gas prices in Mass are also at generic places, with the 1 exceptional Hess. But it's in the middle of nowhere. Where there is probably some kind of secret underground gasoline service for the all of the freaks that live in the boonies. No wonder why you always see them driving everywhere! Oh wait, MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE YOU LIVE IN THE BOONIES. WHERE THERE IS NOTHING BUT BOONIENESS.
3. I got these facts from gasbuddy.com, which is the most awkward website I've ever visited that wasn't a sexual prank.

Anyways, I feel that we Americans need a new source of gasoline, not generic brands made out of dented, unwanted canned goods! NEWSFLASH CORPORATION OF GROCERIES, NOBODY WANTS TO BUY DENTED SHIT. ESPECIALLY DENTED CHEF BOYARDEE. THAT CORRUPTS THE ALREADY CORRUPTED TASTE.

My solution? We make cars powered by piss, coffee grounds, and the brain fluid of the stupid. All of them are abundant sources. I'm sure the scientists hired by the government will be able to do something. Like they ever have before.

... I changed my mind. Let's just make Bill Gates pay for everyone's gas. Yet another abundant source.

Behold: Badassimus's arch nemisis:
ANGSTISSIMUS MAXIMUS

He are angstastic!

Things Angstissimus does:

• He loves Madonna
• He's a Communist
• His favorite movies are Gone with the Wind, Titanic, and Becoming Jane
• His favorite food is crumpets
• He loves his purse-dog Fifi Fluffykins
• He voted for Hillary Clinton
• He has a major abnormal head growth shaped liked testicles from when he was abducted by scientologists
• Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him so many times that Angstissimus couldn't spare enough breaths to say "Please stop"
• He is a frequent Sex & the City watcher
• He tried to knock over the Tower of Piza after Badassimus made it but he couldn't muster the strength, so it just started to lean a little bit

Angst pisses me off!
REAGAN SMASH

I haven't ranted about stuff I hate for days simply because it's hitting me that anything in life can happen no matter who you are.

I'll be back in action again at some point.

Yes, but this god IMMORTAL DEITY OF SOCIETY I made is wicked awesome.

I present to you:
Badassimus the Ultimate

Amazing. I know.

Things about Badassimus:

• He hates Madonna
• His favorite bands are Metallica, Led Zeppelin, and a little Mozart when the time is right
• He WAS the cross Jesus was on
• He had tea with Chuck Norris
• He started the Great Chicago fire with his mind
• He made the Great Pyramids with his turds
• He used thunder & lightning as an excuse to hide his anger management problems
• He created Hitler just to see how long it would take for him to get shot...but in the end he shot himself. So Badassimus screwed up Japan instead
• He IS the 5 people you meet in heaven
• Purgatory doesn't exist, it's just Badassimus's slave chamber
• The dingo ate YOUR baby

He rules.

Stupid people. Why do you have to breast feed your kid in the dentist waiting room? The lady was sitting right next to me, I'm TRYING to read One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest and all I can hear is the damned suckling noise. IT'S GROSS. My God. This lady had 5 kids. Seriously, what do you do? Shoot out kids like a bazooka all day every day? I bet she gets paid for it. She looked like a troll doll though, so I don't think she got paid much.

I hate people in public. I always see the weirdest things imaginable. Like I saw one of her kids put an advertisement on their head.
Who let's children be raised by morons? THE GOVERNMENT.

Things that ruin my day on a daily basis:

• Ignoramuses
• Schoolwork
• If the weather sucks
• People that talk about stuff I hate. FOR INSTANCE -

1. How cool their teachers are
2. How awesome they are
3. Retarded music
4. Retarded people
5. How their day went
6. Why they feel the way they do
7. Why some boy/girl doesn't want them
8. Why they hate themselves

• Going home to absolutely nothing
• Homework
• People that call my cell phone or house phone to talk. I hate talking on the phone.
• People that keep texting me over and over again and they aren't even saying anything worthwhile
• When we have something gross for dinner
• When I can't go outside
• Hearing something really stupid on the news
• Hearing something really stupid about liberals on the news
• Hearing a liberal speak about liberal things in my presence
• When I have an asthma attack because my allergies are so bad
• When my eyes are so bad from allergies that I look like I did a ton of pot
• When I have allergies
• When stupid morons spell something wrong or have bad grammar
• When stupid morons do moronic things. FOR INSTANCE

1. Tap their feet or hands on something really loudly
2. Make random noises
3. Talk to themselves
4. Talk to me
5. Ask me stupid questions
6. Give the teacher a dumb answer
7. Say random things that have no meaning
8. Doing shit that no one cares about

• When I don't have money for the school store because their shit is so expensive due to the dumb economy
• People that ask me for money
• Hillary Clinton. I just hate her.

...maybe tomorrow I can find all of the good things about my day..

Hahahaha; silly economy, price-ups are for the rich and high-class!
Well since the geniuses who run the economy are now running it into the fiery pits of hell, we're all screwed (as if we weren't before). In the past week, I've noticed the price of almost everything I've gone to buy that wasn't in a vending machine was jacked up 10 cents. It may not seem a lot, but 10 cents in a week is pretty huge to anyone.

So I go to buy my Skittles the other day, which I need on a daily basis and because they're so awesome, for 75 cents at the school store. But the economy wiped it's cold, hard, poor ass on my parade. IT'S 85 CENTS FOR YOU'RE SMALL PACKAGE OF RAINBOW-COLORED FRUITY CANDIES NOW JACKASS, FIND ME A DIME.

Fuck that. I'll take the ones off the ground for free. At least then the stench of hard-working foreigners who make them will be smothered by the dirt and footprints of Americans. But Who the fuck carries around dimes? Seriously I think the only people who have them are people with change purses with a bottomless pit of useless coins, and half the time they never want to dig in there to get the change anyways, SO WHY BOTHER?

Soon Skittles will be a dollar and I will be drinking from the ass of the Hawaiian Punch man just for some kind of sugary, saturated fatty, fruity substance.
The economy sucks.

I have so much going on. My mind is twisted like a pretzel. Or maybe criss cross applesauce.

I finished reading Mein Kampf. It was basically this:

"I love Munich. It's so pretty. I love the trees and buildings and scenery. I could paint a picture of all the beautiful scenery. I hate Jews. They are the scum of the Earth. Holy shit I could beat off to the idea of killing every last Jew, yet I never give any specific reason as to why I hate them so much. I love Munich..." Lather, Rinse, Repeat.

Hitler was a moron.
Ann Coulter is a moron.
Hillary Clinton is a moron.

Let's exterminate all morons.

Why do children love to walk slowly? Seriously. In the hallway, I can't get buy without having to shove a freshman. They walk so goddamn slow. WHAT POSSESSES THESE PEOPLE TO WALK SO SLOWLY? I'm convinced some kind of demon has entered their tiny bodies and cursed them with the slow walk. GET THE ANCHOR OUT OF YOUR PANTS AND PICK UP YOU'RE GODDAMN FEET. Oh and stop getting mad when I tell you to move. You're retarded and a freshman, and I don't care if you hate me.

Oh and I was called a racist today, personally I loved it because of why I was called one. I was in the hall and I sneezed and of course I was playing the Undercover Hitler game, so I did the Nazi salute as I sneezed and covered my nose with the Hitler 'stache. It was great. This freshman was staring at me. I told him to exterminate all life forms. Then he called me a racist. Which...I don't know how that's racism at all, but it was a freshman that was talking.

Why not exterminate everything that pisses me off? Oh, because I'd end up being the only thing left.

Which may not be that bad...